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freedom, independence, and adulthood

Freedom is often illusory.  We think ourselves free while living in a box of our own making.  The mistake is thinking that freedom is external.  But every choice has natural consequences.  They're two sides of the same coin.  And so, when we choose to avoid consequences, we also choose to take away our own freedom to make those choices.

True independence is instead internal.  The more we are able to face and accept the consequences of our decisions, the more free become.  I'm only free to speak my mind to a friend if I'm able to accept the possible consequence of a lost friendship.  To instead avoid friendships for fear of loss is as much robbing myself of my freedom as not speaking would be.

We often think of becoming adults as the end of our freedom.  We're expected by family and society to increasingly transfer to ourselves the consequences of our decisions.  But with practice, we mature.  And we become better equipped to take responsibility for ourself and our actions.  And so, independence is actually the fruit of adulthood.  Only when I am able to face the consequences of any choice I make, am I truly free to make any choice I wish.

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